


Fertile Crops

by C0NN3X10N5, Phosphorescence, Pineoppal



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Other, Round Robin, non sequitur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:37:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8878015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C0NN3X10N5/pseuds/C0NN3X10N5, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phosphorescence/pseuds/Phosphorescence, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineoppal/pseuds/Pineoppal
Summary: This was supposed to be a Lapidot fic...but it turned into something else...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a round robin between 5 authors. I think you can tell when the authors change...

"Lapis," Peridot tried to wake up the blue gem in a whispered tone, "Lapis. Are you still awake?" Peridot started to poke at her. She did this for a few minutes until Lapis finally stopped Peridot by grabbing her arm and sternly saying, "What do you want?"  
Peridot replied, "There's an intruder in the barn and I can't get him to leave."  
Peridot pointed to the person. "It's a furry." She whispered. The person looked in their direction and meowed, bringing a curled fist up to his mouth and licking at the back.  
He had two pairs of whiskers on each cheek. Drawn unevenly in black eyeliner. The ears were too small for his head. It also flashed police colours, blue and red.  
He greeted them in Spanish, emulating his childhood pastimes. He then bursted into Korean and Japanese to show off his minimal skills in the the languages. He notices Peridot and Lapis who were staring at him. He continued to meow and lick at his hands more vigorously.  
The atmosphere was escalating in a manner one would describe as tense as he continued to stand there being the furry he was. Lapis vigorously tapped Peridot's arm.  
"Peridot. I don't like it", Lapis said in her usual monotone manner with a protective note to her voice.  
Peridot gasps in shock at what the other gem had just said, "Lapis, you can't just go around saying such things! I heard some people who are in to this sort of thing can get very sensitive and triggered by a negative reaction," Peridot explains as if she had been studying this sort of thing recently (she has). Lapis just stares blankly at the person who was now lying on his back and swiping at some non-existant toy in the air and hissing. "I'll try my best to understand," she says. Peridot claps her hands together, happy that Lapis was willing to give the furry person a chance. So without further ado, Peridot kneels and patted her knees, beckoning the person over, "Here kitty, kitty! We won't hurt you!" She said with a wide grin and in the sweetest and friendliest voice possible. The giant furry crawled towards them, hesitantly. Peridot remained still and waited patiently for the furry to come toward her. Instead the furry stopped in its tracks and dabbed then urinated on the spot, confusing the two gems. The clothing that the furry was wearing was drenched in urine and the stench of memes, and the the two were disgusted of the smell. Before the green and blue gems even comprehended, the furry chased a moth that passed it eyes. Perdiot and Lapis followed it with curiosity. The furry led them out of the barn and towards the large field of crops. Then the furry started humping everything, the corn, the ground, the moth.  
Peridot and Lapis just stood, mouth agape, and watched as the person desecrated their crops and anything beyond. As this was happening, fluffy white pellets fell from the sky. Such a large quantity had fallen into a nearby lake to the point that the entire water body had become frozen solid enough to skate on.  
The person stopped in his tracks and quickly made his way to the smaller-than-average frozen lake. He stepped onto the lake only to jump out of it again, fearing that the ice will break under his weight. Instead, he just stared at Peridot and Lapis, still trying to understand the chain of events that had just occurred, and pointed at the ice, as if he was expecting them to do something with the ice. The fur being began to slowly slid onto the ice, being to twirl on the ice and perform but the wet clothes started to freeze so he stopped moving and just froze on the ice.  
As the person stood still on the ice, Lapis and Peridot just looked at each other and simultaneously said "Huh..."

**Author's Note:**

> Note: the person in the fic only refers to one of the authors...Not intended to cause offence...


End file.
